No I'm not kidding it has a name... Tonsurephobia.. the fear of hair cutting!
Truth be told I was going to blog today about my long time fear of hair cutting, and the fact that I got a hair appointment booked yesterday for when I go home... BUT... I need you to bare with me for a few minutes before getting to that so I can tell you why I'm about to pull my hair out today and probably wont even need that appointment.
Ive decided that I need to work off a "to do" list everyday because Ive been having a hard time getting motivated lately. Generally there are a things that I need to do during the day and Ive been having a hard time getting myself to actually do them which generally isn't like me. I'm going to chalk it up to being sick last week and still catching up from lack of sleep during our vacation.
So this morning I got up super early having things to do and knowing that they were suppose to come in and check all the smoke detectors in the apartment which they said would start around 9:30am. If I haven't mentioned it before we've had a lot of problems in the two months we've been living in this apartment. When we moved in there was a list a mile long of maintenance issues that needed to be taken care of and let me just tell you that anything that has been attempted has really just been made worse! Finally on the weekend I sent an email to the property manager and said that we were extremely frustrated with the fact that nothing is getting done and basically if that continued that we would have to exhaust other means to make sure these things were taken care of, especially because I feel like some of these issues are sanitary! Well I never received a response to my email and today when the property manager and maintenance came in to the apartment to check the smoke detector they proceeded to walk around and diminish the requests that I was making. I was furious!
Its not like I wasn't completely aware of what we were getting into when we moved here, when we first arrived here the company had set up this apartment for us and I took one look, sobbed hysterically and BEGGED Jason not to make me live here. Eventually terms and conditions of the job changed and to make a long story short if we were going to stay here we had no choice but to live in this crap hole. Once moving in and getting organized, assuming the maintenance issues would be taken care of I figured this place could be livable for the short time we had to stay here, well that has just not been the case. On account of this apartment alone I count down the days until we leave this place forever.
On top of that its been one of those days where every little thing is going wrong and truth be told pulling my hair out seems like an extremely viable option.
So speaking of hair, shall we get in to my intended content of today's post?
I have blogged previously about hair related issues, and talked in detail about the mop that sits on my head... however I don't think I have ever expressed my fear of hair cutting.. and how much anxiety it gives me!
Since I was a child Ive had an issue with hair, I didn't like it touched or fussed with and being my mothers first child/daughter she was all about braids and matching elastics. In my being less than cooperative my mom finally decided to chop my hair off... herself... enough said right? I think it wounded me for life.
I guess really in my life time I have never had a hair cut I was completely in love with, or I get a hair cut and think I love it at the time and when I get home or 2 days later I hate it. Its funny because when I sit in a salon chair this random bit of courage and dare I say balls comes out of no where and I always want to go "just a little bit shorter" and although I always regret it, its as though the power is completely out of my hands because I do it every time!
My last haircut I went REALLY short, shorter than I have since I was probably a child and didn't have a say in how short my hair was. I liked it for awhile, longer than usual but eventually I got to the point where I just so badly wanted it to grow back! Its at a length that I actually like right now but summer and here and because I have so much hair I need to get some layers put in, and have some thinning done, this I know! So I arranged with my brothers girlfriend, Jen to have a family friend who does her and my moms hair to do mine when we are home next time, and although I love when she does their hair I don't have to wear it and I'm now officially nervous!
I don't know what it is, its not even just my hair. Jason was in DESPERATE need of a hair cut and I finally got him an appointment for last night and I just stood there watching and staring at the girl doing it, as though to intimidate her out of doing something terrible to it. In all fairness I'm usually not that bad but the last hair cut he has was HORRIFIC and it bothered me for weeks looking at it until it grew back! OK, I sound crazy, I know it.
Am I the only one? Can anyone else relate? I cant at all relate to these people who work on the theory of "its just hair, it will grow back".. Really? When? When will it grow back? and in the mean time what do I do with it while I'm waiting for it to "grow back"? Obviously I know its hair and that in time, probably more time than I care to deal with, it will indeed grow back.. but how frustrating to have to wait and deal with a mess!
I'm sure it will be fine, I'm sure everyone has had bad hair cuts and good hair cuts and moments when they wish their hair was longer than it is. So tell me your story!!
I leave you with the wise words of the oh so fabulous Coco Chanel!