Monday, January 30, 2012

Life as we know it...

Isn't it funny how we go through life and things change so drastically, when you are young your mom takes you on play dates with what she refers to as "your friends" and you sit on the floor beside "your friend" saying nothing because neither of you know any words while he or she steals your toys. Thankfully your mom is always there to recapture your beloved block from the grubby little hands of your so called "friend". Lets be honest as the next few years go on things don't change much in regards to friends, you play together and often fight over toys, watch shows together but the conversation is pretty limited. However you have learned that wonderful word that will so often be thrown back and forth "MINE!" Then you go to school! School is where things change, the beginning where real friendships are formed. You will spend years gabbing on the phone, depending on your era chatting online, having sleep overs and gossiping beyond your own control. Some of these friend will last until high school, maybe even through college and if you are lucky enough maybe forever.. but lets be honest that's rare.

High school is the first big transition in regards to all relationships, you start to figure out who you really are as a person, what your interests are, who you want to be. This new found self realization allows for a whole new group of friends to go along with your all new surroundings. These friendships will seem like the most significant friendships that will ever be, these friends will get you through anxiety provoking tests, relationship troubles, hang overs, breakups, makeups, college applications, etc.. and saying goodbye to these friends when you part ways for college will a huge loss... because 5 years after high school how many of these friends will still be that good of a friend? Will you talk to them every week? Meet for dinners? Make time for them amongst your busy college schedule? New college friends?

College is a whole new level, you are again in completely new surroundings and facing a plethora of new life choices that will attract a whole new group of friends. These are the friends out of all the friends that will somehow last the longest.. they will be the friends at your wedding, the god mothers and fathers of your children, the person you call to consult about stock tips before investing a large amount of money that will one day bite you in the ass and force you to start saving for retirement all over again! Those are the best friends!

However when all is said and done and life really starts who is beside you? Who is the friend who makes the effort to call you and see how life is? Who is the friend who sends you a Christmas card, birthday card, post card.. if your not catching my drift, some kind of card just to keep in touch! Who is the friend is bothers to pick up the phone and not just send a lame (ya I said "lame") text message to see how things are.

People change, life changes.. people move and people grow apart, that doesn't diminish what once was, it doesn't change what kind of friendship you have. Sometimes the best friends are the ones you drift away from and then somehow drift back.. because one of you made the effort. People get busy and due to circumstances beyond any ones control sometimes you cant be the friend that you want them to be, know that you can be.. but its the true friends that look beyond what they are not gaining and See's the circumstances and stand behind you anyways.

I'm not that old, I'm not that young anymore sadly but I'm not that old and at this point in my life my friends are all different ages, all different places and place all different value on what our friendship means. I will admit I'm not always the best friend I should be, can be. I don't always pick up the phone, email, facebook or text when I should. Sometimes its because I'm busy, moving all over as we do or getting settled somewhere new like we often have to... sometimes although it is no excuse I don't have the time to be the attentive, email sending, phone call making, text responding friend that I should be. My circumstances are what they are, as all of your circumstances are what they are.. and although I may not be the friend I should be all the time I am the friend that will always stand back and look at the circumstances surrounding life, not only mine... and understand why things may be the way they are.

Ive learned in life that you shouldn't expect things of others that you aren't willing to do yourself, Ive learned that sometimes no matter how hard people try they don't know how to be there and be supportive of certain situations and that doesn't make them a bad friend. Ive learned that for me its often the friend who you come together with occasionally, send a random email once a month and catch up on life that can be one of the best friends. As we get older our needs changes, our lives change and although I don't think having a sit down conversation about the expectations you have of each friendship is necessary.. a quiet understanding is a good thing.

I don't know about you but as I get older I have a lot less patience for bullshit, I refuse to continue to do for others when it is obviously a one way street. A friendship is meant to be mutual, mutual respect, mutual understanding, mutual care. Sad to think that at every age there are friends that don't get that and take advantage! Well I am done with friends like that, I am lucky to have great friends who all bring something different and special to my life and those are the friendships that deserve to come first, to be put on a pedestal because they bring something so wonderful to my life.'

To all the wonderful friends I have, and you know who you are! Thank you for being who you are, being there for me when I need you and bringing something to my life that no one else does! I love you all!

1 comment:

  1. And that is why I love you! We think so much alike, it's scary!