No not the music! Good lord, who do you think I am?
As I sure you have noticed I haven't been around all that much, part of that is because it is officially summer and I don't want to be inside if I don't have to be and the other part is because I am in a funk! I am trying to shake it, I am actually trying really hard to shake it but I feel like I have nothing positive to say and therefore I don't want to come here and spew negativity!!
Having said all that I decided that today I would stop in and tell you exactly what is on my mind.. because right now that is all I've got.
1. I'm not sleeping well, this queen size bed is basically a sardine can and there is not nearly enough room. For awhile I tried to sleep like a contortionist because Jason feels the need to sleep in the middle but now I have taken on a completely new approach, swinging my knees and elbows.. me not sleeping is not good for anyone.
2. Speaking of not sleeping I will lay in bed and think of things and need to make note of them at that time otherwise I will never remember, so I reach for my phone and last night while doing so I pulled something in my neck/shoulder and it hurt really bad, and still does.
3. As for needing to make note of things when I think of them or I wont remember, this has been a bigger issue then usual lately. I have a terrible memory, but I swear lately it has been pretty pathetic. For example yesterday I went to the mall for two things and left with neither!!! Not because they didn't have them but because I didn't remember I was suppose to get the. Its really frustrating to be honest, Jason shakes his head relentlessly. The other night we walked over to the mall to walk around and to get his watch fixed and we ended up dropping his watch off to be sent away and when we left I asked him what time it was. He was like...uhhh? If its this bad now, I'll be in a home by 35.
4. Jason's cheap and doesn't want to buy a new fan (even though we've had this one for a million years and got our moneys worth) and this fan is WAY TOO LOUD!
5. I don't have any clothes to wear. With all my clothes I don't feel like I have anything to wear, therefore what do you think I am thinking with a quarter of my clothes? It makes every morning stressful.
6. I hate panel blinds, they are useless and let all the light in!!
7. I am cheap and refuse to buy curtains to go over the panel blinds because I would rather be buying things for my beautiful house.
8. The gym keeps me sane, although I am sure this post will make you question that.
9. I believe part of my not sleeping and forgetting everything is I constantly feel in a tailspin.. my brain literally never stops. The wheels aren't just always turning, they are speeding!
10. I hate having one bathroom, guaranteed when Jason is in there I am going to have to pee.
11. I am nervous in the kitchen. No not just being in there, but cooking! The stupid smoke detector is right there, staring at me all the time and I am so afraid to set it off as they are much more sensitive in apartments! I use to set it off in New York all the time and they would call up to the apartment on the intercom. #mortifying
12. I don't have a nightstand. Usually in apartments we don't have enough room for two, in Alaska we sold all our stuff and so we don't have one here. What do I do with all my shit? This is why I pulled a muscle reaching for my phone.. all my shit is on the floor!
13. There is no storage in this apartment and therefore I feel like there is shit everywhere and I hate that.. my nerves are frazzled.. I hate totes sitting with no home.
14. There is no cell phone service to make calls from within my apartment. Apparently the cement floors in between the units interfere. Seeing the words "Call failed" sends me into a rage, probably more so than necessary.
15. I still cant figure out the channels here with Comcast and therefore I pretty much miss any show I would want to watch. That's a pisser.
16. I miss our Target at home, I know where everything is and it is all set up so perfectly with all the best stuff. This Target is a joke, I cant even push the damn cart through the racks because THEY ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER!! Common sense people, common freakin' sense!
17. Everyone is rude. I am not stereotyping, I mean everyone. No one holds doors, manners don't exist. I hate that.
18. I am completely shocked by peoples behavior. Every.Single.Day! I would not consider myself sheltered and lets be honest if you know me at all you know that I have a mouth like a sailor, but peoples behavior here shocks me! I am constantly shaking my head and making that "shocked face".. its mind boggling!
19. Have I mentioned how damn expensive things are here?
20. The roads here are terrible. Hence last nights flat tire due to a nail! #awesome.
21. I hate slow walkers. What happened to people in the city being on the move? WALK FASTER!
22. I am sick of this hamster cage we call our apartment when we have a huge beautiful home!
23. I'm too fat to put on a bathing suit and be able to swim which is depressing and a catch 22 because I am trying to lose weight but the hot weather makes me want to have a beer.
24. Germs... ugh. The city is dirty which I have a hard time with. I should own shares in Purell and Wet Wipes.
25. I miss my bath tub, this one is for a child, a very small child... which I am not.
26. I miss my house, I want to go home.
27. I need a hug.
Jason isn't working this weekend and its suppose to be gorgeous so I think after Jason's eye exam tomorrow we are going to walk over to Hoboken and have lunch outside which I am looking forward to.
Have a great weekend.