January Birch Box!

Hello Hello from the soon to be winter wonderland!

Yes you read that right, apparently we are in for another polar vortex this afternoon and we are expected to experience major drops in temperature and apparently snow! What is going on?? WE DON'T GET SNOW IN THE SOUTH!!! I don't know if it will actually happen as this is not the first time they have called for it and it hasn't happened but I would say the chances are decent!

Anyways I am attempting to blog with pictures again, so I hope this goes well or I may just have an epic meltdown!

Last week I received my January Birch Box and let me tell you I couldn't have been more excited for it!! This really is the best gift because it is essentially the gift that keeps giving! Every month I get a box full of goods! This month I was thrilled with the contents of the box and really shocked at the variety compared to last month!

Check it out...

Now this month was a little different, when I first received the Birch Box Tanya who gifted me the box was the one who selected the items that she thought I would like to receive, after receiving that box I got an email from Birch Box asking me what I would like to receive! 

I love that everything is packaged so nicely, it really is like opening a little present!

This little booklet was full of wonderful motivators for the new year! It had a bunch of things like.. How to keep happy in the new year, losing weight in the new year, staying motivated in the new year.. you get the point!

This I am extremely excited for! I love to try different products and shampoo is not something that I generally go out on a ledge and try to many different ones especially in the last couple of months when I have been having so many problems with dry scalp (thanks winter!). I will definitely let you know what I think about this!

Liz Earle? You ever heard of her?

Face wash and a special face cloth! Awesome! 

This may just be my favorite thing in this months box! Its an Under Armour headband for running! I have been using this baby every day and I love it! Inside it has a nonslip adhesive liner that prevents it from moving on your head when you are running! Its fantastic!

More cute little packaging!

Who doesn't love perfume, but lets be honest here perfume is expensive to buy! So its really nice to be able to try a different kind and more then once to make sure you really love it before forking out a big chunk of change! This smells EXCELLENT!

Eye shadow palette...

In colors that match my skin tone? SWEET! 

Sadly I took a picture of the print out that tells you how much all these babies would cost if you were to buy them in regular size at the store but for some unknown reason every time I try to post the picture it turns it upside down and wont let me turn it around. Truth be told I have zero patience to deal with it, especially when I don't know if this post is even going to work! So here it is.. upside down!

I swear, more and more blogger is getting under my skin and a change may be in the near future! 

So friends that is the January Birch Box and I am beyond thrilled with it!

We are on week three of the extreme clean eating and let me tell you today is the first day I am feeling really over it! I want a cheeseburger (I don't even eat cheese burgers), It took everything I had no to stand in line at McDonald's today while in Walmart... I just want to stuff my face with CRAP! I know.. horrific. Having said that I have not done that and will not. This polar vortex, winter crap is making it worse though! Winter and the cold makes you want to eat warm hearty foods and all we have around here is FLIPPIN' SALAD! I'm so over salad at the moment! 

With the cold tomorrow I will definitely be around, no chance I am leaving the house I can tell you that much!

I am thinking of getting in the spirit of Superbowl (even though the Patriots are not in it and I hope the Seahawks lose because of that ridiculous rant by Sherman.. did you all see that? Pathetic!) and posting some good recipe ideas! 

Hope you have a wonderful night, STAY WARM! XO

Blogger Bust!

Well Ladies & Gents let me tell you this... Blogger has been screwing me and that test post that I did was irrelevant because it worked and I got SUPER excited and then I went and copied the post that I had originally tried that didn't work and it wouldn't work again. I don't know what is going on, I'm not sure if it is the pictures or what the deal is.

The other night I typed out a whole post and added in all the pictures and when I went to post it I got an error message telling me of broken links in the HTML.. well let me tell you this, I am not at all technically savvy what so ever and so I turned to Google. Google explained kind of what the problem might be and I took my interpretation to the link and tried to fix what looked to be broken. It didn't work. In sheer panic I contacted Aubrey who designed my Blog over at The Kinch Life Designs, I told her the error I was getting, I copied and pasted the HTML presented to me because the more I looked at it I was worried that if I continued to play around having no idea what I was doing that I may in fact screw her coding and therefore my blog! Aubrey was wonderful and got back to me right away and said it was something plaguing blogger and she felt bad I was affected by it but she said if I continued to repeatedly dismiss the error and hit publish it would go away. As much as I appreciated that, it didn't work!

I was so upset and went into a downward spiral! I started looking into the difference between Blogger and Wordpress and potentially switching my blog over to Wordpress which would change nothing for you as readers but a lot for me as the writer. New format and tools to get use to, I would have to pay quite a bit of money to have someone transfer my content and design and then I would have to buy my domain which would absolutely be beneficial to me in the long run.... but I haven't done enough research to make a decision just yet. Mostly its quite costly, but I have had this blog for years and have almost 400 posts that at anytime Blogger can delete because sadly while using Blogger I basically have no rights to my content. I have done some consulting with Lisette who is WONDERFUL as well over at Northern Belle Diaries  and she can do the transfer for me. So I just need to make up my mind. But I will tell you one thing after this post if it wont let me post the one I have been fighting with it will be decision making time!

So basically that's why I haven't been around, because every time I would try and post it just wouldn't let me, or it would type up a whole post and then when I would go to publish it, it wouldn't let me publish or save it. You can imagine the frustration.

In the meantime there is a few other things that have been going on that I might as well fill you in on while I am here! We got ANOTHER new bed.. no I am not kidding. Let me recap for a minute for you. So we closed on the house and that night got a brand new FANTASTIC Simmons bed! We were here for basically 2 days before going back out to Saskatchewan to finish the job and then come home! We weren't home even a month when the Kirby vacuum sales morons came in and ripped our brand new bed during a demonstrating and sucked out most of the pillow top... nightmare! Anyways remember it turned into exactly that, a big freakin' nightmare! Anyways eventually they replaced the bed and we absolutely felt like it was not nearly as comfortable but in the 6 weeks we have had it we noticed it was only getting worse. The bed was actually getting big indentations in it and Jason was having a hard time sleeping, so we went back to Mattress Firm where we bought it! Basically it had been less then 100 days and they have a happiness guarantee, so we sent them pictures of the bed, they deemed it defective. We did a lot of chatting with the sales associate who eventually told us that they actually have a lot of problems with that particular bed, a lot of warranty claims and such. Long story short we went with a completely different bed, got it on Saturday and I like it. Of course it needs some breaking it but I really have no complaints. I just hope this is the last bed for awhile!

We are still dieting and exercising everyday! I honestly don't miss all the crappy food as much as I thought I would, I missed having beers yesterday while watching football or a glass of wine with dinner. I'm getting a wee bit tired of salads but we eat so much of it because its basically one of the only healthy things that Jason likes. Running is slow going having this chest cold, my breathing is all off and I seem to be getting cramps a lot easier! I am trying to just pace myself and tell myself that even if I don't get as far as I would like to at least I am still getting out there and trying! I stopped the cold medicine, or rather basically was forgetting to take it so I am doubling up for the next couple of days.

Its 60F degrees here today which is amazing and it was a beautiful morning to go out for a run, but tonight the temperature is going to drop SIGNIFICANTLY and therefore the next couple of days while it is cold we will not be going running. The other morning it was somewhat chilly and I found it was even harder to breathe, my ears ached tremendously, it was just bad. So yesterday although somewhat warm I wore a hat and gloves haha, you cant really be over dressed!

What else.. Oh! The neighbors dogs across the street are driving me batty! Honestly I feel bad for them, they are two MASSIVE some kind of dogs and by the looks of it they never ever go inside which makes me sad, but you know what makes me more sad? When they bark ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! Honestly we live a good distance from them and I hear them clear as day, I cant imagine the people who live right next door don't have an issue with this! I noticed it when we first moved in but didn't know where they lived and then continued to wonder what the deal was when I would hear them all day and night. I don't care about the day time but when they bark all night and keep me up that makes me cranky. So I plan to do some calling about that this afternoon, because honestly they are barking for a reason... they have to be to go one for that long, and as much as I want to complain because the barking is maddening I also think they deserve to be treated better.

On another front I got rid of my Facebook account yesterday.... go ahead, I can hear the gasps now! Truthfully its been a long time coming! I stopped posting pictures and stuff a long time ago and honestly have felt for a long time that there are only a handful of people I actually enjoying seeing their posts. I felt like the account wasn't really mine anymore, instead more about obligatory "friends". I could have deleted half of my friends list (as bad as that sounds) feeling no remorse but not without consequences and I no longer felt like that was fair. Facebook became more drama to me then it was worth, so I did away with it.

If you know me at all you know that beyond my control stress consumes me often, things that may seem extremely ridiculous and irrelevant to others will eat at me and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. I found myself signing on to Facebook and seeing things and reading things that irritated me beyond belief and so although there is a handful of people I will miss seeing their posts this is what is best for me right now. Luckily I have other social media outlets that allow other people to follow me and I understand if I miss out on things if others don't share the other social media I follow.

So really that's what is going on here!! I have some blog work to do, I am getting good information to help me make a decision about what to do. I have some post planned but have been nervous to attempt it and hit a brick wall.. because I might flip my lid!

I hope you are all having a great week, stay tuned... hopefully I will be back with someone more interesting and pictures!! Haha don't get your hopes up just yet!

Test Post

This is a test post, I have been unable to post over the last couple of days because of a Google generated error and instead on continuing to try with pictures I thought I would try this first! Sorry for the inconvenience!

Lone Survivor

Greetings all!

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday, I woke up feeling like a bag of dirt to put it lightly. My face was full of snot and I have a wheeze in my chest, I felt like I hadn't slept at all.. probably because I really hadn't and my day consisted of tea on the couch with my word search book. Sad I know. I never get sick but yesterday I felt awful, my entire body hurt from the neck down.. I think from being sick and from diving into the workout movement after having stuffed my face full of crap and did nothing over the holidays. A day of rest did this girl good, minus the fact that I woke up feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Having said that I did a weigh in this morning (I may just join Heather over at Pretty Strong Medicine in her weigh in Wednesdays if I continue to get these results!) and I have lost 5lbs!!! I couldn't have been more thrilled, for me I am that much more motivated when I see results! Still sticking to the super clean eating and exercise and besides being sick I definitely can feel a difference in my body!

Dinner the other night looked like this...

I went sans potato and stocked up on the veggies. Plus I only ate half of this delectable meat! It was excellent!

My day yesterday looked like this.. a comfy sweater! When my Dad was here he bought me this awesome sweater while we were in Chapel Hill and I couldn't love it more! It is thick and warm, super comfy and exactly what I needed yesterday!

Anyways I was planning to blog yesterday about our movie date on Monday night but my head was in such a deep fog yesterday! Jason and I enjoy going to the movies, its truthfully not something we do often but while Jason is working it is the perfect date night and something different from just dinner!

We are HUGE Mark Walhberg fans and when we recently saw an advertisement for his new movie Lone Survivor we knew that was going to be our movie night out! I didn't look into the movie before we went and saw it, we saw little clips on TV advertisements and thought it looked good and went. I don't think I was prepared for what exactly I was going to see.

You see, being from Canada we don't have the military interaction that I have had since living in the States. The concept of our military at home vs the military her is completely different, most likely because of size but I believe because of the terrorism that has effected the United States.

When I worked in Alaska I worked pretty closely with the Military and Air Force, I got to know a ton of men and women who proudly serve our country and give up and sacrifice more then we as civilians will ever know. At the very beginning of my position it was important for me to get to know the people I would see regularly and who would be calling me and what not, and there is one person that I will absolutely never forget. Henry Williams. For some reason that name will always stick with me. I got to know Mr. Williams for about a month or so before his sudden departure, he was quiet and polite, originally from Texas but had PCS'd to Joint Base Elmendorf Richardson in Alaska after returning from a tour in Afghanistan. I knew that Mr. Williams was a single father and out there all alone with his daughter trying to balance a military work schedule and be there for his young daughter, he seemed to do a great job.

On afternoon I got a call from Mr. Williams that said he was being deployed immediately and would need to get out of his lease. He said that he would bring in his paperwork (as required there was no penalty for breaking your lease if you received military orders) and would need to do this as soon as possible as his daughter would need to head back to Texas to live with his sister while he was abroad. I told him we would get things moving as soon as possible and when he was ready to do his walk thru to just let me know. I went over to his empty apartment with Mr. Williams and he told me about how he was promised not to deploy and that is why he had moved his daughter out there, after being away for so long it was important to him to give her a stable home. It broke my heart to walk around that spotless apartment and think of his disappointment and hurt, there were no words to fathom the loss he was going to feel missing his daughter once again for who knew how long, while keeping his head on straight as he went to the front lines. I asked Mr. Williams why it was that he was given such short noticed, why the terms of his status at the base had changed, and he put his head down and said the he had been called upon to take the place of a fallen soldier. He was going to taken the place of a soldier who had obviously been in a dangerous situation and lost his life, he was going into enemy territory to take the place of a man or woman who most likely expected to return home and now never would.

This is what these men and women do, they put their country first... no matter what the circumstances and who they leave behind, they go, they ask no questions, they do not complain, they kiss their loved ones goodbye and they go to fight for the freedom of those they have left behind. There really is no words for that. My heart broke in that moment for Mr. Williams, the single father of a young girl, so young himself. Whether he said it or not I have to believe he had a plan, feeling safe and secure State side for the first time in a long time and in a minutes notice, one piece of paper took that away. He got his affairs in order, dealt with things that needed to be dealt with and prepared himself to board a plane for somewhere dangerous and far away.

That afternoon with tears in my eyes I wished Mr. Williams luck, I told him to stay safe and come home. I thanked him for all he sacrifices for me and this whole country.I don't know why I had such a hard time with it, I didn't know Mr. Williams long enough to cry over his departure, but in that moment I felt like I did. I welled up with tears thinking of him and his loved ones, and all the others who go through similar situations and have nothing but hope, hope that they will come back. I often think of Mr. Williams, probably not that much older then me, I wonder if he made it home to his daughter, I wonder what he saw out there, I wonder....

Mr. Williams wasn't the only military gentlemen I got to know. I got to know Sgt. Taylor quite well too, Mr. Taylor has 5 kids back at home in Washington with his wife and he was in Alaska after returning from his third tour abroad. Mr. Taylor had the best sense of humor, I often teased him about his custom Comaro and how will it managed in the harsh LONG Alaskan winters, I always asked about his wife and kids. He liked to say that he would soon retire from the military and get a "real" job. He wanted to work for Microsoft or some other major tech company, he had done what he could for his country and it was time to move on. One day Mr. Taylor stopped in to pay rent or something of the sort and I could tell he was troubled, lonely life coming home to an empty apartment every night when you have a wife, kids and home thousands of miles away. Mr. Taylor told me that night he suffered from PTSD after his second tour, being shot and having his convoy hit by a road side bomb and having to watch his fellow men die in front of him. Hosing the blood of his friends out of a military vehicle and moving on. How do you survive that? Live day to day and not ask, why not me? How to do you go home every night and sit in an empty apartment and not think of that exact moment and play it over and over again in your head. You see that's exactly what Mr. Taylor does, all for the brotherhood, for his country.

You see I didn't realize we were going to see Mark Walhberg portray a true story of a man named Marcus Luttrell and a 2005 mission him and 3 other soldiers embarked on that went terribly wrong. I didn't realize that we were going to watch men fight for their lives and each others in a strange unfamiliar place. Yes in military movies people die, but not like this.. I sat there wondering how many men and women lived or died in an event so similar to this it gave me chills.

These four men took on an army of Taliban alone, four men against a hundred or more.. up on a mountain in the middle of no where, bombs flying, guns going off faster then popcorn pops.. I sat there holding Jason's hand just wanting it to be over. Of the four men that set out to capture a leader of the Taliban only one of them came home. Marcus Luttrell came home because of Afghan men and women of a near by village who fight their own fight against the hate and lack of humanity everyday. These men and women risked their life to save that of an American, and they did.

Marcus Luttrell is lucky to be alive today, I say that but I can imagine what his life is like today. Jason came home and did a little reading on him, he has a young song named "Axe" after one of his fallen comrades. The army gave him a golden retriever to help him cope with his severe PTSD and apparently some neighborhood thugs shot it dead (I mean seriously?). This man has been to hell and back to fight for his country, he has lost friends, seen things no person should ever see, and most likely watched his life flash before his eyes, all so that you and I can have the life we do. How do you say thank you for that?

Americans support their troops, they give the utmost respect, they hang their flags outside their homes proud to be American. But do we do enough? Do these veterans who have served their country and been through these awful things have all the resources they need when they come home? I cant imagine jumping back into life as a husband and father, wife and mother after coming back from war is easy. They say these men and women are trained, they are prepared for war, but are you ever? Can you ever be prepared to see the things they see, do the things they do, live each day, each moment wondering if it will be your last.

There are no words for the movie Lone Survivor, its riveting, well written, realistic in ways you want and ways you wish you had never seen, the movie is amazing and horrific all at the same time. If you get a chance definitely go and see it, and if you see someone in the military... thank them.. because no matter how many times we do it, it will never be enough.

I wish things were like they use to be, where we didn't have to worry about terrorism and the hate that lives in this world today.  I wish families didn't have to spend months wondering if their loved ones are going to come home, if the last time they kissed them goodbye was the last time. I wish kids didn't have to grow up without parents because their mother or father was killed in the line of duty and I wish that there was something more we could do to eliminate the threat across the world that breeds terrorist daily! I wish a lot of things that may never be, so instead I will be thankful.

We take a lot of things for granted in everyday life and that is normal, but maybe today just be a little extra thankful for all that you have and more importantly who you have.

HERE is a recent interview with Marcus Luttrell and his reaction to the critics of the movie Lone Survivor.

Nail Biting... Old Vice?

Good Afternoon!!

Finally we are having the weather we dream about in the south! It is so gorgeous outside Jason is walking around in shorts! Haha I however am in fleece socks, jeans and a jacket... its only 56 out! This made it a little easier to get out of bed this morning and hit the pavement running.. literally.

I'm not going to lie getting out of bed this morning wasn't easy! First of all I haven't been sleeping well at all through the night and the goobers next store working on those houses pick their own hours! Thankfully Tanya taught me how to curse at them in Spanish and having that under my belt makes me feel a little more in control of the situation. Relax, I probably wont do it.. truth be told they are always nice to me, in a creepy perverted kind of way, but none the less.

Anyways we actually got up later this morning thankfully because let me tell you from running yesterday and doing biceps and triceps, plus abs this girl was SORE!! I literally hurt from my neck down.. I kid you not. My hips and knees which feel like that of a 90 year old on a good day felt as though they may break at any moment as I pulled my fat ass out of bed. Motivation. My biggest concern this morning was Jason rushing me out the door as I am NOT a morning person and NEVER get up and leave the house a half hour later, I made it clear that was not happening this morning either. My other issue was that pesky blister I got yesterday. I bandaged it up, busted out my good gym shoes and out the door we went!

While heading to the park I took a really good look around at the damage done by the weekends crazy weather, I heard on the news this morning a woman in Raleigh died on the weekend because a tree fell on her, so sad. I was feeling pretty grateful for the lack of damage and just a minor scare.

So we made it to the park and although sore I was ready to push myself, Jason went on his way as he is more polished on his running skills and I started off. I'm not going to lie I didn't do as well as yesterday and only made it 2.5 miles today. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself and feel too pathetic because at least I am out there and doing it. Sadly its not easy to get back in the grove of running and it is going to take some time, the immediate results we always hope for are not going to happen and my hard work and determination are going to be what brings those along. My blister really did a number on my motivation, thankfully it is suppose to rain tomorrow and Wednesday so I will be busting out the weighted skipping rope I bought Jason for Christmas and hitting the garage, I am determined to get in daily cardio of some sort.

Now that I have gone on about something that this post had absolutely nothing to do with I figured I would get to the point...

I like to think I don't have a lot of vices, I am especially proud that the vices I would say that I do have don't generally effect other people! Most of them are fair weather vices anyways, except for one.. my nemesis, nail biting. I swear I have been biting my nails since I could chew and it is the most disgusting habit ever in life (besides smoking). My Mom tried everything when I was a kid to get me to quit it and nothing ever worked. There was no reason for my nail biting, I don't do it because of nerves or anything like that, I just do it.. all the time.

Getting older I became more aware of how truly disgusting it really is, I am an avid hand washer but I still have a huge issue with germs and as I have gotten older is has only gotten worse. I have never liked long nails because there is always crap under them and nothing grosses me out more, but there is definitely a fine line between disgusting bitten nails, sore and bleeding all the time and nice, short manicured nails. This is what mine generally look like...

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Not to mention the fact that walking around all the time looking like this.. is pretty unattractive!

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I truly never gave it much thought, even when people were swatting my hands away from my mouth or telling me how disgusting it was! However when Jason and I got engaged I was so excited to show off my GORGEOUS ring, and although people thought it was beautiful it also came along with comments such as "now that you are showing off that gorgeous ring don't you think its time to stop biting your nails", "Beautiful ring, time for a manicure".. you get the drift (apparently I have very honest friends and family). But in the end they were right, my nails looked disgusting! 

At about that time I pretty much stopped biting, not all together because its hard to break a lifetime habit but instead of biting I lived for nail clippers! No joke.. this right here.. my BFF. 

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Actually it wasn't just nail clippers, you give me any nail tool and I would sit around for hours and pick! These became my side kick, partner in crime, handy dandy go to buddy! 

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I mean seriously though, how fantastic is this little gem! Don't get me wrong, blood was involved a time or two which was completely my fault because I became obsessed! Having said that I became aware that you could have short nails that didn't look like they went through the garbage disposal with just some simple manicuring! 

Now you are probably wondering why with all of this uncontrollable biting through the years why I didn't ever try nail polish or gel nails. Well ladies and gents.. I did and it was an epic flippin' fail. I really hate nail polish for my fingers PERIOD, one I need someone else to do it because I am so vastly uncoordinated with my left hand and two 5 minutes after it dries I am biting and scarping to get it off! It makes my fingers feel heavy- go ahead and laugh, I can't explain it but to say that I absolutely HATE IT! I have gotten gel nails a time or two as well and they generally last about a week before I rip those suckers off too! Gel nails specifically get shit under them and its literally impossible to get it out and its freaks me out and in my moment of irrational fear of some sort of disease caused my grime I grab the closest, sharpest instrument I can and drive it under and try and pop them off. 

Funny story, after we got married we were back in New York and naturally I wanted those things off my hands ASAP... I did some reading online about a more efficient way to get them off besides hacking away for hours and found something that said you should cut them short and then soak your fingers in nail polish remover. Sounds easy enough. I pulled out this strawberry scented stuff I had (it was pink) and soaked my fingers in it for as long as I could stand before hacking away. Well it worked, they came off a lot easier then I had expected and that shit only turned my finger tips pink for a week. Win? I don't think so. 

In the past few months I have done a lot better with the not biting and actually letting my nails grow, so when my Mom and Fiona were here we decided to get manicures as I actually had nails to manicure and was quite proud. Well for me that went from a manicure on my own non bitten nails to a spur of the moment decision to get gel nails. Stupid. I actually really liked them, they were extremely well done and although it took some time to get use to I was really happy with them. In the end they lasted two weeks and I ripped them off because one, they only lasted looking nice for two weeks and then they needed to be filled.. well I can find a million other ways to spend $30 every two weeks and number two, well the germs. Not to mention if you don't keep them literally forever they COMPLETELY ruin your nails. Good lord it takes weeks for them to grow back in properly! Sick! In my old age I am a wicked germaphobe and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I have quirks.. go ahead.. judge away. 

I decided then and there I would never get those again (I've said that before). But I will say that I haven't bitten my nails in a dogs age and whats even better they are the longest they have ever been and I am OK with it, I actually think they look nice. I on occasion get the urge to cut them all off, and honestly that day may come... but I'm not biting. I often think about how others interpret  an obsession/ vice like that, because lets be honest its noticeable to the world. They would probably assume I am a worrier - BINGO... but they could also assume other things that although I may not know what they are in defense mode I want to say screw off they aren't true! But why put that out there. 

So in the end I am really proud of myself for kicking that nasty habit, I am glad that its not something that I am thinking about all the time because I am so self conscious and worried what other people think, and maybe.. and this is a BIG MAYBE I may venture into the world of nail polish on my fingers. Again that's a maybe, lets not get carried away! 

Do you have any bad habits that you have kicked and want to share what it is and how you kicked it? Looking to kick a bad habit and need some advice? Share away!! I would love to hear about it. 

Jason and I are having an early dinner and then heading out to the movies, we are seeing the new Mark Walhberg movie Lone Survivor and I cannot wait! Its going to be hard to go and not eat popcorn and crap but none the less I am still really looking forward to it. 

I hope you are all having an excellent Monday, if you made it through the today the rest of the week should come easy! 

Wicked Weather and Other Happenings...

Happy Football Sunday Lovelies!!

I tell you it has been an interesting couple of days around these parts and let me tell you that hasn't been the case in awhile. As I mentioned before Jason and I started a pretty strict diet this week in hopes of returning to our preholiday weight (me more like my prior to coming home weight!). We have been keeping busy with that, lots and lots of lemon water, no carbs (I do a lot better with this than Jason, however until last night he had no cheated at all). We have been trying to keep busy as night as well because that is Jason's cheat time, he gets bored and snacks.. so there has been a lot of cribbage playing at night!

We are getting some good use out of the new Cribbage board! 

Yesterday was the hardest of the dieting days, we knew we were going to be stuck in the house all day because it was suppose to rain and even worse it was FOOTBALL! Football and beer go together, and if you're pushing it so does nachos and chicken wings! We had hummus and veggies with lemon water... pathetic!! All for a good cause though, right? Right. That's what I keep telling myself. 

Anyway yesterdays weather took an interesting turn of events. It was absolutely POURING all morning and Jason decided that he was going to run to Walmart anyways because we have a hole in our air mattress and the stuff we got to patch it the night before didn't work so he thought he would run out and get something else. I had heard talk to Tornado warnings further south but nothing for our area, so while Jason ran to Walmart I thought it would be a good time to call Mom and chat. Jason was only gone 10 minutes at most and the wind started to really pick up and the rain was coming down in buckets, I was sitting at the island looking out the back glass door thinking it was looking pretty bad out there. Then all the sudden out of no where I got a message on my cell phone that said Tornado warning in your area TAKE IMMEDIATE SHELTER!! and without warning the wind picked up so fast, I could hear things hitting the house but I couldn't see anything and I told my Mom how scared I was and the phone went dead!!! I was seriously terrified, we don't have basements here and in order to get into the crawl space you have to go outside which obviously wasn't an option! 

I got somewhat irrationally angry too, tornadoes in Raleigh?? SINCE WHEN??? Do we bring bad weather places because seriously we always seem to find crap like that to deal with no matter where we go. We were apart of the worst winter in years in NYC, constant earthquakes in Alaska that literally made your apartment sway like a tree in the wind! The most snow in one winter on record in Alaska, the coldest, rainiest summer in Alaska! Tornadoes in Raleigh.. WHAT GIVES MOTHER NATURE, WHAT GIVES!!! 

I started texting Jason telling him to COME HOME! He wrote me back and said there were trees down everywhere. I mean the excessive SCARY wind lasted probably tops two minutes but it literally caused havoc around the city, especially one street here. There were MASSIVE, OLD trees that were literally completely up rooted! The neighbors basketball hooped (which is weighted) blew over and then 30 feet down the road! Fences blew completely down! Over in Brier Creek where we use to live a whole housing complex that was only framed BLEW DOWN!! Check it out HERE, I'm serious!

Sadly I suck and really didn't get a lot of pictures. It stayed quite miserable here last night, we were under tornado watch until 6:00pm last night and today when we went out I didn't take my phone. I truly cannot believe the amount of damage done in such a short time. I was truly scared, and that doesn't often happen where weather is concerned. 

The neighbors whole patio set went flying, they just threw it back on their deck! They also have a tree out there with that edging stuff all around it and that stuff all went flying! 

There are a bunch of these massive branches in our backyard and a ton throughout the front and I don't even know where there are any trees like this around. 

It truly was just miserable! The poor neighbor behind us is elderly and I don't believe home (the ambulance came one night last week and took her and I haven't seen anyone there since) lost a ton of trees in her yard, big and small they literally split in two! Too bad we didn't need fire wood! 

After that mess we had a really quiet afternoon of football and home made Chicken and rice soup! I have posted my homemade chicken noodle soup recipe before and I made this basically the same way, but I added some diced mushrooms (I am going to get vegetables into Jason anyway I can), I used wild rice and in mine only sadly I added broccoli and let me tell you that was AWESOME! I had bought a big bag of frozen stuff, I would much prefer fresh but Jason hates the smell of it and truthfully unless I plan everyday what we are going to have I find things go bad before I use them. So I just defrosted a bowl full, took a very small amount of EVOO put the broccoli and some chopped garlic in the pan and sauteed it, chopped it up and put it in my soup! EXCELLENT!!

Eating healthy doesn't have to seem like punishment, sadly it doesn't include beer but if you experiment and try new things it can taste just as great! Its also dinner tonight as well!

So this morning was the beginning of couch to 5K as I feel really terrible about myself and the weight that I have gained and changing my eating alone isn't going to cut it. I lift with Jason but never feel as good afterwards as I do when I do cardio! I really like to run a lot and use to do it all the time, but in the moving and traveling (excuses, excuses) I haven't run in a long time and this morning felt pretty pathetic. I was anxious about going with Jason because he is so active all the time and whether he is judging me or not I always feel like he is. We both knew the odds of me keeping up with him was unlikely but I was fine with that, I was prepared to start from the beginning again and that's exactly what I did and I feel really good about it. I feel really good besides this beauty that 4 miles earned me...

Disgusting right? It hurts like a bitch too!

I really wanted to be around to post about National Kiss a Ginger Day! I did not make it here though, I swear I don't know what peoples obsession with redheads is! Kiss a Ginger, Kick a ginger... WE ARE PEOPLE TOO! I actually don't think we are all that rare either, maybe natural redheads but not in general! We also have souls, GASP.. crazy thought apparently! Our freckles are not from the souls of others we have stolen either! I swear where do people come up with this shit! 

Anyways I am currently missing the Panthers vs 49ers game and my laundry needs to be changed so I must go! I promise to be back tomorrow!! I hope you all enjoy whats left of your weekend!! 

Ps - Did you catch the Patriots fantastic performance last night?? In the bracket I am cheering for the Panthers today and Denver!

HAPPY FOOTBALL SUNDAY!

Life Lessons as a Momma!

I would never have ever described myself as selfish, in fact if anything I would describe myself as the opposite of selfish, I would much rather please someone else then myself, I enjoy doing for others, and being a contributor to someone else's smile warms my heart! But having a baby really puts things into perspective, really makes you evaluate your priorities and what matters most to you. As I mentioned we recently had Amelia Grace for an extended visit as her mother was trapped in New England because of this mess we like to call winter!

The thought of a baby has weighed heavily on my heart in the last year, as you get older and your biological clock takes over without your permission and feeds your head and heart full of thoughts of procreating it has absolutely been something I ponder often. I consider how Jason and I would be as parents, how I myself would be as a mother, if a baby would fit into our lifestyle and if not are we willing to make the necessary changes to make our lifestyle conducive to a baby. Have we been married long enough and done the things as a married couple we should before bringing a baby into the world? Have we traveled to all the non-baby friendly places we want before throwing a wrench (stroller, car seat, bag of baby crap) into the mix! I guess in all of it the question really is, are we ready? Am I ready to completely devote my life to another person. I know I'm married and yes Jason totally is my number one priority but not in the same way a baby would be, Jason is independent and does not rely on my necessarily for his well being (his food maybe, haha).

I love kids, but having one of your own is a completely different ball game! Its easy to be around other peoples kids (well some of them) and say, I want a baby, I can absolutely do this. But lets be honest when its someone else's child there is a certain level of novelty. You are playing "momma" not being her! You know that you may have to change one or two dirty diapers but that's it! You may hear them cry in the night but you aren't the one getting up out of your nice warm bed! 6:00am (or dare I say earlier) may come soon for someone, but it ain't gonna be you (hallelujah!). Its basically false advertising falling in love with the idea of having a kid because you get all the fun stuff, not the stuff that makes you think.. maybe I'm not ready!

Having Millie G around for four days was a true blessing, I love that child more than words could ever say! That sweet girls sheer existence makes my heart smile!! Her smile is contagious, it made every cry through the night that brought me up out of bed and 6:00am wake up totally worth it.. look at this face!

When Brianne asked would we keep her for a night while she flew to get the kids from their Dad, I wasn't intimidated at all. If anything I felt beyond honored that Brianne trusted us with her precious baby girl, being non parents and all. We spend enough time together that I know Lady A's routine and its not my first rodeo around a baby so I knew changing diapers and feeding her, basic care would be no problem at all. But as the days went on a little part of me wondered was I giving her everything she needed? Was she wondering what the hell I was doing and where was her Momma? Obviously no matter what I did it wouldn't have been the same to her, I am not her Momma but was I at all comparing?

The first full day of baby time was easy peasy! We still had family here and this girls beautiful smile and warm personality was a hit! Truth be told I felt like it was shared responsibility as everyone else wanted to hold and play! It wasn't quite like having a baby, but a little person who participated in whatever we decided was going to happen! She napped as it was an early morning for her and had a great day!

Naps were plentiful, missing Momma takes a lot out of you and requires cuddles with her tiger! 

Of course she wanted to play Yahtzee!!

I was a little anxious for bed time as it was the first time she had ever spent the night away from her Mom and if anything that would be the time I thought she would be like... Ok.. whats going on here! Well that's basically exactly what happened when Evan tried to put her to bed! So the first night we let her do it on her own terms, she stayed up a little later but she slept through the entire night! It was not until the next morning that we became aware it would likely be Sunday before Momma returned. 

I still really wasn't worried, we went about our morning of breakfast and play time, it really didn't put that much of a wedge in my morning routine... hello novelty! I really enjoyed the morning and while the boys played with Millie I headed up for a shower. I came down to find her half asleep so I went about getting things done while she was content. Jason jumped in the shower and as I came down from checking laundry our day took an unexpected turn!! Millie had puked EVERYWHERE! I wish someone could have taken a picture of my face! She was covered, Evan was covered, it was literally in her hair, all over the couch and the floor.. needless to say I was a little stunned! I stripped her off immediately and decided the tub was exactly where she needed to be! She was in good spirits so we got her cleaned up and settled and then cleaned up her mess. No big deal. No big deal except this was only the beginning.. this girl was sick all day! I am going to likely assume she is teething because not only did she puke all day, she had diaper rash, slept much more than usual.. poor girl. No big deal though, we limited bottles and went to pedialite, we had extra cuddles and diaper cream, nothing we couldn't handle. I felt terrible none the less, she was sick and probably wanted here Momma wondering what the hell I was doing! None the less she had this face on her all day...

Poor pink cheeks.. haha do I look tired?

Dinner time we tried some actual food as she hadn't had a bottle or anything solid all day and it stayed down thankfully!

Bed time again was a little worrisome, being sick and still in a strange place I wasn't going to force anything. She made it very clear how she wanted bed time to go.. and it was just like this!

Jason rocked her to sleep in her little blanket.. there are no words for how this melted my heart. To watch Jason play on the floor with her, feed her and rock her to sleep.. it made me think of what an amazing Dad I know he would be. 

The next day was much better, she was feeling much better and our day went off without a hitch, to be honest it was starting to scare me that my life had changed so dramatically in a matter of days but yet in a way it was as though it hadn't changed at all. We fell into a routine with Millie, our days seemed a little bit more fun and filled with so much love! 

Sorry for the crappy Iphone pictures! I try to tell Jason!

By day four I was so comfortable and happy with this pretty little face that I was really dreading her leaving! I will say that Millie is an abnormally fantastic baby, she sleeps most of the night, she is forever smiling, she eats everything and never ever cries! I would gladly take her out anywhere and never think twice because I have never seen her throw a fit ever. Millie is that baby that makes life better when she is in it. 

In the four days we had Amelia and our sad goodbye (I say it like I will never see her again, apparently I have attachment issues) I learned a lot. I learned that I love that I have for that child is beyond what I could have ever imagined, I learned that you have to cherish every minute you have with kids that age because they change so quickly! But here's the thing, I also learned that as much as I love Millie G and I ALWAYS put her needs ahead of my own... I'm not ready to give up a 20 minute hot shower when I want to take it, I'm not ready to give up long baths with a glass of wine at night. I want to get up and make a coffee before diaper changes and bottles. I would take Millie G for a week every month and love every second of it but she taught me that I am not ready to be a full time Momma! However she made me feel like when I am I would be good at it. 

Having said that I may have created a little monster in that we took constant pictures and videos to send her Momma and she LOVED IT! Not only was she a total ham in them but she absolutely found herself hysterical watching herself. By the end of her visit I kid you not she could hold my phone and scroll through all the pictures and videos of herself, knowing full well how to even play the videos. :) Sorry Ma!

Having Millie for a few days was a gift! Having a baby around puts things into perspective, gives you a reason to smile the biggest of smiles with the most love behind them. Having her here made me see Jason through completely different eyes, he is so wonderful with her. I can't wait to see her again, but I think I will hold off on my own baby thoughts for another year. Really why bother when I can borrow her, right?