I started this blog to document our travels and keep our friends and family informed but truth be told in a lot of ways its been like a journal for me as well, I complain and share excitement here so I figured although I'm having a bad day today why not drop in and vent a little, maybe someone can relate or if nothing else maybe I will feel better just getting it all out there!
Truth be told a big part of my problem is being back in Estevan, I was really excited to come back because Tanya was going to be here for a visit but now she's gone and I'm back to life in this miserable place. Jason is working all the time, I still absolutely HATE our apartment, there is nothing to do here.. its miserable! I know this might sound crazy if you consider all the extreme change that tends to come along with our lifestyle but I don't always deal well with change. We just had a great vacation at home, got to enjoy summer like I hoped we would this year and coming back here was a change I just didn't want to have to deal with. I know we cant stay at home, and really that's not my problem.. my problem is I hate this place and I don't know how to shake it. I am doing things to make it as tolerable as possible but when I get in a mood like this, they could open 6 new restaurants a mall and 3 parks and I would grimace! Good attitude right?
On top of that I'm dealing with another ongoing issue with people in my life that at this point I don't know how to go about dealing with anymore. I cannot make someone treat me as I treat them, I cannot make someone have respect for me regardless of how I act towards them, and more than that I really cant make a situation better with others who aren't willing to make the same effort. I have a really hard time when someone directly hurts me, directly disrespects me when all I have ever wanted was positive things with them. Sometimes you just have to let go what you know will never be and stop trying, but when people are directly linked to you and not going anywhere.. and you know that civility would be the best possible case is there really a point where you can say enough? Maybe I'm a gluten for punishment as I have tried and made a continuous effort only to get burnt, but yet here I am venting about it, looking for the strength to continue my efforts.
I'm just having a bad day, and I would love to tell you that I am one of those people who can wake up in a bad mood and turn it around with a "Plucky good attitude and a can-do spirit" but that would be a lie! I'm a bawl ass! When I wake up in a bad mood all I want to do is cry, be stubborn and miserable! I can do things that I think would help improve my mood, make a pot of tea, curl up with a good book, put on my favorite movie, buy something new but in the end I'm still cranky!
Not to mention when you're having a bad day and you have to deal with those people who give you the "there are starving kids in Africa" speech as though that it going to change what is going on in my life today. Yes I understand there are starving kids in Africa and I am very sorry for that but that doesn't change the fact that I'm pissy and things aren't going my way... not to mention you telling me this repeatedly which is a nice way of telling me to knock it off I have nothing to complain about puts you on my list.. and let me tell you its not a good list!
So tonight when Jason came home from work we had dinner and headed out to run a few errands and get frozen yogurt! I'm not sure Jason was sold as he had just eaten a huge dinner but I wasn't really in the mood to negotiate, I was getting frozen yogurt! We use to go for frozen yogurt all the time in Alaska and we loved it, the place we went tonight has been in the works for awhile and when we got back from vacation to our surprise it was open! Tanya and I tried it out the other day while she was here which made me that much more sure we needed to go tonight!
Maple Walnut and Vanilla yogurt with sprinkles, walnuts, coconut and caramel chips.... divine!
Aren't these the most hilarious napkins too? We have been to a Yogurt Lounge and a Menchies but never a Spoon Me.. too funny!!
Truth be told I cant say my mood has improved that much since this morning but I have all intentions of waking up in a better mood tomorrow morning.. maybe. I actually called and made us dentist appointments today, which we've been thinking about for awhile but there are two dentists in this town and each of them only have 1 hygienist in the summer (seriously?) so there was no way to get appointments at the same time and we share a vehicle.. blah blah blah and I absolutely HATE the dentist. Yes I am a dentist hater, I get super anxiety about going, I swear my gums swell up at the thought of it, its the absolute LAST thing I want to be doing tomorrow but I know I will feel better after I go. Jason took the early appointment for 7:00am which is fine because I am not a morning person anyways and then he will pick me up after his appointment so I can take him to work and be back at the dentist for my appointment at 10:00am. Wish me luck!
I suppose we all have bad days and all we can do is move on and make the best of the next day ahead of us. Tomorrows post will be more positive, even if I have to fake it.. seriously.
Well I gotta admit I was feeling a lot like you yesterday! Long day, crazy people at the office (no, not your Mom!). Today was a little better. I think we all have these bad days - and as the saying goes, if we didn't have bad days, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Hope today was better. Is there ANYTHING near you? I'd be tempted to take Jason to work one day & drive & take photos (but that's me!). Maybe you could do that? Not knowing a thing about Estevan, maybe there is totally nothing.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right Cathy! There really is nothing around here, I have considered taking Jason to work one day and driving around but within our direct area it really is mostly industrial and Im a little hesitant to go to far as I have such a hard time knowing directions and my surroundings and I tend to get lost easily which is scary in the middle of no where. Haha!
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